I just read an article on EliteDaily suggesting that the number of guys a girl slept with doesn’t matter, and that every girl should just embrace it and not be ashamed of it. I beg to differ. The number of a guy a woman slept with fundamentally changes her emotional availability and her attitude to love, sex and relationships with men. As Roosh put it bluntly “… it takes a woman having ten cocks to realize that she doesn’t need one”. There is a lot of truth in this seemingly very crude remark. If you are a guy who has been dating around and meeting different women in various situation, you can probably tell how many guys a woman slept with based on her general behavior, demeanor, and the way she carries herself.
Generally, a woman has a certain capacity for love as well as sexual and emotional attachment. It can only be given to so many guys so many times in her lifetime. A woman who has had a lot of sexual partners simply has less left to give emotionally and sexually to the new guys she meets. She is generally less excited about meeting guys, going out on dates and sex. She is more skeptical of romance in general, and doesn’t develop the same strong feelings than if she was “less” experienced. She becomes ok with becoming a female version of a player and having casual hook ups, not hoping and not even wanting to care about a guy and be cared for. She is not excited about meeting guys and going on dates. Dating becomes a routine and a numbers game rather than something to look forward to.
I recently witnessed this “transformation” on one of my ex girlfriends. I met up with her after not seeing her for over eight years. Even though it has been a while I remembered both how guarded she was when we met and then how strong her feelings for me were when we started dating. At that time, I was her second serious boyfriend, and at least according to her, she only slept with three guys before she met me.
Today, things are very different. She has several profiles on different dating sites. She dates and sleeps with a number of guys and it’s not a big deal to her. I am sure that it won’t take long before she gets tired and confused from dating too much. I don’t hold it against her, since what she does is the norm today, at least in large metropolitan areas. However, I can’t help but conclude that she settles for so much less emotionally and romantically than any woman should. The deeper problem, of course, is that she is probably unable to feel what she was capable of feeling back when I met her.
Whether that inability is a reversible problem or not I don’t know, but I would at least like to believe that taking a break from meeting guys, dating and sex would at least restore some of a woman’s emotional availability. After all, what fun is it in living if you don’t have these strong feelings.