As I am walking down the street downtown San Francisco, I look at the men and the women around me. Both look extremely unapproachable; especially the females. They say that looking unattainable and unapproachable is in style these days, and it has been the way to be for quite a while. It is supposed to add to your perceived value and image. After all, if you act like you are some kind of celebrity who is trying to stay away from the limelight, maybe others will think that you are all that too.
As I look at the people’s faces and their body language, I am trying to translate their behavior into words. What kind of energy do they radiate? What does their body and face say besides “I am busy, stressed out by my job and I have 100 more things to do today”? Do they themselves realize how unapproachable they look?
Do you have any idea how your facial expressions, your having sunglasses on when you don’t really need them, and wearing headphones and having your eyes glued to your smartphone 24/7 make the guys around perceive you? I assure you that it says anything other than “I am warm, friendly woman who doesn’t mind being approached by a guy who wants to meet me and talk me”. If you are in fact single and are interesting in meeting more and better men, you should make sure that you don’t create unnecessary obstacles between you and the men around you, like so many other women do. It’s hard enough for men to approach and talk to women as it is. It always has been. It’s part of our or nature and it’s part of male experience. It takes a great degree of confidence to be able to make a more and approach a girl – not at a bar when everyone is drunk or at a house party where you are supposed to be talking to everyone anyway, but in the more casual and naturally more awkward situations. By doing so many things to make yourself look even more unapproachable, you are eliminating any chance of having any guy trying to talk to you and meet you. This dramatically reduces the chance of you meeting more and better men in your day-to-day life.
Many women love to say – “But I am not at (insert location) to meet guys. I am just hear to shop/work our/read/work, etc”. This is a self-defeating mindset. Waiting to go to a specific place on Thursday/Fri/Sat night at 10 pm, where you think it’s appropriate to meet guys, dramatically limits your chances of meeting men. It also sets you up for weekend after weekend of disappointments in and frustration with only talking to drunk guys in bars and clubs.
If you feel like you are not meeting enough quality men, you must change the energy you radiate every day and every minute of the day. Surely you can’t be expected to look happy and friendly 100% of the time. No one is. However, changing your overall demeanor when you are out and about will go a long way toward making you stand out from most other women and making it more likely that the right kind of guys will come up to yo and strike up a conversation with you.
And for more useful dating tips for women, check out “What You Wish You Knew About Men“.