The Social Mask We Wear When Meeting People And Dating

social mask This statement about a social mask is made by one of the dating coaches for women I respect the most. When I saw it last night, it had really made me stop and think about its far reaching applications for a while. It talks about and says something so critically important for both men and women, and it has never been more relevant than today.

Being quite familiar with Wade’s work and I can imagine that what she primarily meant when she said this about women’s masks is that when a woman takes off her social mask of strength and invincibility and exposes her true feminine, vulnerable nature, she will attract a man who is strong and masculine enough to appreciate those beautiful qualities, which sadly become progressively more and more rare. On the other hand, when a woman keeps her masks of dominance on, she will only attract the weaker men who are willing to settle for that type of female energy, or  who actually prefer to be in a relationship with a dominant woman. Then, there are also guys who believe that truly feminine women no longer exist in the western world. While this can’t possibly be true, the important question is for how many women having that masculine energy is just an act v how many are, or have truly become, more masculine in their behavior, demeanor, body language, and goals.

The opposite version of the above statement can also be applied to men – a man who insists on acting in a genuine masculine way without wearing the social mask of someone who is overly politically correct or sexually repressed, will earn the attention of a more feminine woman. The guy who is able to lead, make decisions (small or big) not agree with everything a woman says just for the sake of agreeing will earn a feminine woman’s respect and love.

On the other hand, a guy, whose primary goal is to please at any cost, will bore the same woman and will make her run the other way, even if she doesn’t quite understand herself why she is doing it. This is one reason why some of the most feminine women out there are so attracted to men who can challenge and entertain them with their dry sense of humor. After all, often that type of humor indirectly communicates strength, and some degree of disregard for political correctness or eagerness to please at any cost.

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About practicalh

Practical, effective dating tips and relationship advice.
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2 Comments

  1. Well said. Sometimes we wear masks because we are afraid to show who we are; at other times because that’s what everyone else around us seems to be doing, and often – it’s a combination of both of the above. Regardless, it hurts us more than helps because it prevents others from seeing and being attract to who we really are and what we really want. Consider a guy who is choosing every word carefully when on a date instead of being a little more free and allowing a woman who would be interested in that real part of him see it. Who is he doing a favor to? No one.

  2. We wear masks besides we think being “happy” all the time is the only way people will like us. The longer we put on these masks it feels draining and almost staged when in fact we are really not what it seems on the outside. But hence, some people I know think this is normal and it is scary. Genuine people could feel this inauthencity and there it is frustrating. The more masks we wear just means there is something we are truly afraid of or ashamed at. That said, you feally do not know someone unless these people let go of their masks and tell you themselves what lies inside their heart.

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