1. Today, I witnessed an actual example of how and why being presumptive is not an attractive quality to women. While grocery shopping, I overheard a guy having a small talk with a cashier while she was helping him. After speaking with her for about a minute or two, he asked what she was doing that night. She said she had no plans. Then, he said: “Wanna grab some dinner tonight.” At first it might sound like a normal casual invite, but…it sounded way too casual and … so wrong! I am not sure why. Is it because of the word “grab” and because it made it sound way too casual? Or because he assumed that it’s ok to invite a girl out to dinner right after he met her.
She was clearly put off by his presumptuousness. I could tell by the look on her face that the only thought she had at that point was “who does that guy think he is… is he inviting every girl out to dinner after introducing himself without knowing anything about her?” Thus, I wasn’t surprised when she politely declined his invitation, making it clear that she was looking forward to spending some time with her friends (even though, as mentioned earlier, she didn’t have any specific plans).
2. Last week, I was sitting at this hotel bar with a friend who was staying in that hotel. At one point, he struck up a conversation with a woman and after having a very short conversation, he invited her to his room upstairs. She looked like she was ready to slap his face, but she didn’t and instead politely excused herself and left. Even the “easiest,” most promiscuous woman who would have sex with the guy the same night she met him doesn’t want to be treated as if she was that “easy.” Thus, no woman enjoys it when the guy assumes that she would just go to his room like an escort, even if in the end she actually did end up sleeping with him the same night if they spoke a little longer and established some kind of connection.
Being presumptive with women is usually a mistake. Every woman wants to be shown at least some degree of respect and attention – during the first encounter, on a date or at any other time.