Every now and then I hear a guy complain about how crazy his girlfriend or wife is. He tells me all about her temper issues, tantrums and how unpredictable her response is to whatever he says and does. That kind of guy will usually also tell me that he wishes that the woman he is dating acted like “x” or “y”. What many guys don’t seem to know, however, is that their women’s seemingly erratic behavior is very common and it’s often the rule rather than the exception. These guys also often don’t realize that those other women who appear to be so sweet and clam might be anything but calm in a more private setting, when they are interacting with the men they have feelings for. You might think that the girl you are dating is the only one or one of the few who get angry or upset or jealous for no reason, but she surely isn’t an exception in that regard.
A few weeks ago, I saw this quote at a public restroom: “Women need to be loved; not understood”. It has been suggested by one woman whose opinion I regard very highly that being somewhat emotionally unstable, and at times yelling and/or crying is actually part of being a “real” woman, just like knowing how to handle the ups and downs in women’s moods is part of being a “real” man. It’s possible that strong emotions, whether love or hate, jealousy or admiration, laughter or crying – are fundamental elements of feminine energy. Thus, when a woman doesn’t react emotionally in situations where you would expect her to, it might be just as alarming or even more alarming than if she got really angry and were screaming or throwing things at you. You will then have to ask yourself – why is she so calm? Is it because she doesn’t care? Or is it because she isn’t all that feminine? Or both?
I am not suggesting that you should be looking for the craziest woman out there or that you should tolerate women who are violent or who seem to have the potential to get you in legal or some other kind of serious trouble. I also know that there are women out there who are both sweet, caring and feminine and at the same time don’t get angry very often and are overall emotionally stable.
However, considering how small that latter group of women is, it might be well worth it for you, as a guy, to keep in mind that it’s typical for women to get angry, upset and jealous for reasons that would seem petty or nonsensical to you. It is therefore important to keep in mind that if the woman, who is special to you and who you really like or love, has occasional emotional emotional outbursts, this doesn’t necessary make her an unsuitable dating or relationship partner. It might just be a normal and common part of her nature.
Of course, whether temper is common or tolerable to you is a matter of degree. No one should tolerate emotional abuse, especially if it gets worse and worse. At the same time, expecting a woman to conduct herself as a diplomat at all times is simply unrealistic.