Lately, I have been getting the “mixed signals” question more and more often and I am compelled to address it. Usually, it’s the guys who are really curious as to why a certain girl they are interested in and who they think is interested in them is much more friendly and flirtatious on some days and acts very distant on other days, and why she would be much more outgoing and responsive with them on the phone, by texting and e-mail on some days an would be very unresponsive on other days.
I believe that the explanation of this apparent inconsistency in behavior is rather simple. The behavior of both men and women is constantly changing as our mood is changing from day to day and even throughout the day. We are all friendlier on some days than others, depending on a whole range of circumstances and events that take place on any given day in our lives. Women are known to be much more volatile this way than guys. So, a man should not expect a woman who is interested in him to constantly flirt with him and be equally friendly at all times. Women have moods. On some days they are too tired, to stressed out or too anxious to talk to anyone. They have many doubts about all kinds of things in their lives, including dating and any specific guy they are talking to. Some guys refer to a woman’s mind as a “hamster”. While it might sound somewhat disrespectful to some, it’s a pretty good analogy and a valid explanation for the mixed signals you might be getting from any girl you are talking to.
If you are a guy and you think that a certain girl’s attitude toward you is unstable and she seems to be giving mixed signals to you, think about yourself and ask yourself honestly – are you equally interested in talking to her or getting closer to her every single day and every single moment of that day? Is your romantic and sexual desire at the same exact exactly the same intensity every single day? Of course not. We, humans, don’t operate like that. This applies to both men and women, although in slightly different ways. Even though your moods and desires might not fluctuate as much as that would be the case with girls, you should still be able to at least relate to how a girl would feel. Just imagine that whatever fatigue or stress you feel after a long day of work or school – the girl you are interested might be ten times as tired and stressed out.
So, if a woman who is usually friendly to you is not as friendly to you on a particular day, don’t assume that she is mad at you or that she is not interested in you any longer. Don’t judge how she feels about you based on that one incident of her not being super excited about seeing you or running into you. She might be more serious or looking less happy or appear to give mixed signals to you for many other reasons that have nothing to do with you. But, of course, if she seems to be acting very differently from her usual self, there is nothing wrong with coming up to her and asking if everything is ok. You should also make sure that you learn how to deal with women who send mixed signals.