Why Sarcasm Is Essential To Flirting and Creating Attraction and Chemistry

sarcasm chemistry attraction flirtingIt’s not a coincidence that so many people say (and include in their online dating profiles) that they are sarcastic, and that they are also looking to meet someone who can appreciate sarcasm and dish some of the dark/dry humor on their own. Sarcasm might just be one of the higher levels or higher channels of communication between the two people. Being sarcastic is often the ultimate way for two lovers to connect on a purely intellectual level. When you are making fun of someone or something or point out something about the world, our society, or the more immediate surroundings in a sarcastic way and the other person gets it, laughs at your comments and plays along, it is a strong indication that the two of you see certain things the same way and you get each other on a deeper level. ¬†This is critical to having that unique mental connection that we call chemistry.¬†Many would say that this type of connection is what makes us fall in love.

Sarcasm greatly enhances flirting and the whole seduction process. Dark humor is¬†somewhat of a¬†cherry on top of the physical attraction “cake”. A physically attractive woman, who appreciates sharp wit and sarcasm and who herself can be tastefully sarcastic at the right time, will be irresistible to those men who have higher standards and who are pickier about the women they date than most other guys. ¬†A smart, interesting guy, who has been dating around, knows that a woman who has personality and who¬†appreciates dry humor is going to be so much more fun to be around. He also knows that she is likely to be smarter, more educated and more interesting that most other women.

At the same time, smart, interesting women are the ones who are usually looking for a man¬†with the same sarcastic edge – someone who can relate to her cynical observations about the world in a fun and entertaining way. They are the ones who are the most likely to be bored with a guy who is too¬†“vanilla” when it comes to his opinions, observations and humor.¬† These women of a higher caliber¬†inevitably have somewhat of a cynical attitude toward at least some things, whether it’s relationships, politics, culture, their work, etc. Some are more jaded than others, but they want to be with someone who can relate to how they feel about the world around them, be it admiring certain things, or judging harshly other things. If the guy is too plain, too positive, too nice, too agreeable, or otherwise too “pure” he will end up in a friends zone with that woman very quickly.


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Practical, effective dating tips and relationship advice.
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8 years ago

I would go even further and say that sarcasm is essential to having fun on a date. A conversation that has sarcasm at all is guaranteed to be boring. Also, a lot of people confuse being sarcastic with being negative or pessimistic. These are definitely not the same. I know plenty of people who are both sarcastic and have tons of positive energy.

5 years ago
Reply to  Jess

That’s very true. Now, when I think of it – it’s hard to imagine a first date to be fun if it doesn’t have at least some element of sarcasm.